I love having these totally weird titles. I wonder what you – reader – are expecting after reading this title. Do you think it will be about faith? Philosophy? Or maybe some kind of science fiction story? Well, it won’t be. It’s going to touch one of the most important topics of my last three – or maybe even more – years. And if you sometimes read what I publish, you might already know what it is.
It’s dancing.
It is probably the most exciting, crazy, and even brave thing in my life. I will tell the whole story one day and then you will understand. And this story is not over yet – far from it. It keeps growing in an even more beautiful way. I honestly don’t know where I will end up with this. I have dreams connected to this whole journey, and I’m so open to it – like never before in my life. It’s my private You Can Dance combined with Dancing with the Stars. It really is.
The story is beautiful, and there are also so many “I don’t knows” in it. Because I really don’t know where I’ll end up. But there is one thing I do know. This story will end one day. Like every story in my life. And it will end not because I’ll have to, but because I’ll decide that it’s time. And that moment is getting closer with every new day. This is such a great story, really. I’m already missing it, even though I’m still in the middle of it.
But regardless of feeling sad about the ending of my dance journey, I’m also excited. Very excited. Because I know that after this dance adventure ends, another one will come. I have absolutely no idea what it will be, but I’m pretty sure it will be something beautiful. I like saying that I don’t know what my future story is, but I accept – and I’m happy with – every version of it. And I’m already curious about what it will become.
Recently I told several people that one day I will finish this dancing story and that I’m already excited about the next one. And they were surprised. They kept wondering why I would give it up if it gives me so much joy. And honestly, that’s a fair question. But I don’t think I need to answer it. I just know it will happen eventually. The mysterious part is where I’ll end up and what it will be.
I have no idea who I’ll become after all the things I’m doing today (well, dancing is only one of them), but I’m already preparing for it. Mentally. Physically.
Sometimes there are days when I want to speed everything up. Just sign off from every dance class, sit on the floor in my house, and decide: from now on, I’ll become a singer. Or a truck driver. Or a gym teacher. Or a regular school teacher. Or maybe leave everything and move to the mountains. Or Tenerife. Or become a novelist. Oh my god, there are so many possibilities, and every one of them feels exciting. Like choosing a completely new destination while traveling. Which one will I pick? Or maybe I’ll get injured and life will decide for me. Who knows.
When I started writing this post, I had something specific in mind. I thought writing would clear it up, would take me somewhere further. Instead, I completely forgot what it was. And I won’t look for it again.
I’ll just let myself keep this big smile in my head – a smile full of memories from this whole dance story.
Heh. It’s almost like already having it in my past.